Hot Soup...

I think i need to have some soup right now, but I don't think I could make myself one because I'm so sleepy. Then again, I don't think I'm actually that hungry. As you can see, I've been using the word "think" twice so it must be all in my head. I don't find my stomach rumbling huehue... Soup is such a great comfort food. That's probably why I always find myself craving for it at night.. or at odd hours hmmm...

Anyway, I broke the metal plate that's supposed to hold the end of my braces today, just when I have less than 2 weeks left before its removal. The funny thing is, i wasn't eating anything hard. In fact, I was drinking milk! Okay, so it had some cornflakes inside it but they're all softened up because i left them soaking inside the milk for too long so I gulped them all together with the milk hehe - still doesn't make sense to me. Maybe it broke earlier but I didn't notice. Its time has come then. Oh well, it's going to be removed soon so i'll put up with it. Let's not bother.

My sleeping pattern is totally off lately. I can't sleep when i'm supposed to and there's so much to read. Exam is in 4 months so the lecturers have packed our schedule with tutorials and tests. I shouldn't have much free time I suppose, but i still somehow manage to watch youtube while eating, check my facebook, plus i suddenly start to cook a lot recently so it's taking some of my time (but it's good for my pocket - helps me save on food). Still, I could cut down on my laptop usage. Besides, i find facebook a bit boring lately and my eyes are quickly getting tired these days (>.<)


Right now, I have an ulcer in my mouth and the right half of my tonsil is starting to swell. There's tenderness in my left jaw, one of my lymph nodes seems to be swollen. I hope I don't develop a temperature. Arghh this is distressing sometimes...again?? I don't want to get sick at this time, please. The last time I got tonsilitis (that's about a month ago), the Dr told me that I should really get a throat swab done if it recurs again (I've had 3 episodes this year alone). I don't know if it is the cold weather or what, since I take care of what I'm eating and I gargle regularly. Hm.. I'm going to pop in a pill and get some sleep eventhough I still have to prepare for tomorrow's clinicals and tutorials. Let's hope I get better. Goodnight, God bless.

Life as it is..

I'm supposed to b studying for tomorrow's test but right now i'm too much in a bliss to care hahah.. not to worry, i'll study right after this. I'm actually enjoying my dinner. Today i fried some prawns and mixed wasabi with mayonnaise to eat them with. Yummy.. Plus i have some tuhau with rice just to give more taste to my tongue heheh. I finally got the almost right taste for my macaroni and cheese last night. How? I added more salt to it hohoh.. My venture with macaroni and cheese last Saturday didn't really work since I just discovered the cheese sold here don't really taste like the ones I used to have. The cheddar cheese was quite bland compared to the ones back home. I'm sorry the macaroni and cheese I brought to the costume party didn't taste that nice but i'm thankful anyway to those who tolerated and ate it hahah..

I'll switch to youtube now ^^ Family Outing's Ep 69 is out! yeah.. well it's been out for quite some time but because I don't speak Korean, I have to wait for the hardsubs from my favourite subbing team ;p I wanted to post the link here but thought the better of it. Besides, I don't have time for that. So i'll continue enjoying my dinner while watching one of my favourite variety show. Signing off.

Midnight rambles - of care, trust, guilt and fear

i'm tired. i couldn't care less about anything at the moment. well, at least i wish so.. the problem with me is sometimes i care too much about what other people feel that i forgot to take care of my own feelings, or maybe it is like some kind of taboo for me since giving importance to my feelings seems selfish at times? i don't know, seriously. but i do know this, caring for what other people think and feel and wanting them to feel good is only a good thing if you don't make yourself feel bad in the process. i always find myself getting concerned over what might be small and petty things, which after all these years i have accepted as part of my nature. i'm concerned too much that other people might get hurt but i always wondered why i'm the one who's losing sleep over this while others concerned appear to sleep soundly. is it because i take too much of it on myself? if others can have the privilege of not caring then why should i care? why must i be the sensitive one who notices everything?

sometimes it's good to have a good judgement on people's character and being sensitive to their moods and behaviour, but sometimes it's a burden. when you know someone is not happy or feels hurt, you either ignore them or approach them and do something. sometimes i wonder why i always choose the latter rather than the former.. there's no reason to get all worked up right? but i know i'm no angel so maybe my only stupidity is unnecessary guilt - guilt eventhough i've done nothing wrong, guilt when i chose to ignore someone, guilt when what i do or say offend some people although they are not on purpose (these things can't be helped). humans are so fragile aren't they? they get hurt easily.. am i supposed to be immune to that? maybe i am suffering from a type of phobia - fear of hurting other people's feelings.. geez i need therapy hahah..i think i'm only normal when i'm with my family and best friends, or maybe i just need rest and escape. in that case, i'll sleep before i get any crazier..

tired, sleepy, but happy..

it's been quite some time since i last blogged..

i had my internals in september, after which i went back home for holiday (by the way, i had a great holiday! ^^) . after the 2 weeks holiday, i came back to nothing. i was basically homeless! heheh, well we had been assigned to a new apartment, which was apparently not ready yet by the time i got back to blore. so, i had to sleep over at a friend's house. anyway, to make a long story short, i finally got settled down (except for my wardrobe hmm i hope i'll get it by tomorrow). i'll talk more about the new apartment in future posts since i'm tired now and as u can see, i don't even bother about capital letters at the moment :p

today i had clinicals from early morning (well, i took the college bus so i was definitely early) followed by the clinical theory in the afternoon. i had to rush as soon as i got home in the evening since we had a small get-together planned at friends' house, for which i had to cook (i know i'm no chef but i could still come up with a decent enough meal). it was a simple gathering but i enjoyed it because of the company i had. truth is i miss attending gatherings like the ones we used to have back during my college days and also the youth activities of the parish my family used to be part of. because of that i am happy and thankful that we were blessed with the opportunity to get together like we did tonight.

i got home after 11pm tonight and suddenly remembered about the "mask project" i was supposed to do for the "costume-party" tomorrow. my friends decided to organize the party just for fun, and of course, food! ^^ not wanting to be a spoil-sport, i made an effort to at least make a mask i could wear even if i don't have any particular costume to wear. nicky, pat and i shared in buying a DIY mask kit. however, i feel tired so i could only finish doing nicky's "kabuki mask". i'm not even sure if it has the right effect heheh but i did my best. i'll touch up tomorrow and finish mine too huhu, or maybe i should leave mine blank heheh. anyway, i'll go have my dose of music right now before i doze off. One of my favourite singers, Park Bom (korean, i like her voice) has released a solo single (well, she's part of a group called 2NE1 but she singing solo in this one) titled "You and I". Upon hearing it for the first time, i felt nothing but after hearing it again, it's slowly catching up on me.



Hmm..sweet dreams..